The two strands were short lived. :( When I woke up the next morning, they were very flat to my head. I thought these looked too boyish for me. Next time I'll make smaller twists. But, all is not lost, I got this AWESOME twistout. I had to snap some quick pix before I walked into class. I couldn't get many good shots because the lighting in the bathroom was all screwy. More later....... :)
The Trotter is bright (:Þ)
I conditioner-washed my hair with Matrix Sleek.look conditioner and
detangled it. I then parted my hair to get the twists to the desired
thickness. I filled my 8 oz. spray bottle with 2/3 water and 1/3 Pantene
R&N conditioner to moisten my hair with periodically. I then proceeded
to twist using Elasta QP Mango Butter. Tonight I'm sleeping in my satin
cap. I can't wait to see how they look tomorrow morning.
Goodnight, all! Thanks for reading!
The Trotter is bright (:Þ)
Alright folks, I've gotta start posting more frequently and regularly. These gaps are as irritating to me as they are to you (if you are even paying attention by now :^O)
I've gotta say that I loved rockin' the Afro puffs the other day! I got lots of compliments, and a couple weird looks. But it was all good, I knew not everyone would be a fan, but *dammit!* I was too fierce with it! The only thing that I didn't care for was how frizzy my hair got at the part in the middle. Anyone got any tips for this?
"You are too cute for natural hair."
This comment was made to me by someone close. I must admit that this was the first time that someone said something about my hair that had me speechless. I mean, I have had some friends joke with me, playfully, about my nappiness, and I knew it was in good sport. But this statement stirred something deep within me.
I was talking to this person, and the conversation turned to hair. She nonchalantly said, "So when are you going to get a wrap or something?". A wrap is a hairstyle that is achieved by using a setting lotion on relaxed hair and then combing it in a "circle". Once the hair has dried, it lays over the shoulders quite easily. I had figured out that this person didn't really care for my decision to not relax, but she had never mentioned it to me. I responded, "In order for me to get a wrap I would have to relax my hair, and I'm never relaxing my hair again,". I could see her disdain for my response so clearly on her face. This is a person who regularly relaxes and colors her hair. And I have no problem with her decision. Sometimes, when I notice hair thinning around her temples or her receding hairline, I want to just openly talk about the damage that is being done. But she's been wearing her hair like this for years, and I know my suggestions would fall upon deaf ears.
The conversation continues. "I just don't understand why you want to wear your hair like that. It makes you look so old. Your face started looking bigger after you started wearing your hair like that. You are just too cute for natural hair,". By this time, my feelings are hurt. I knew that I would face some adversity being natural and all, but this was the first time that someone actually insulted me while commenting on my hair. And, again, it's coming from someone who I consider (considered?) to be close to me. I was determined to not let it show. I responded, "I like my hair the way it grows, and I chose to stop damaging it. I'm not going to change it for anyone but myself.". She replied, "Well, I don't like it at all." By this time, I wanted to change the subject, so I said, "I'm sorry.". I know I shouldn't have apologized, when she was the one being ignorant. What I really wanted to say was, "I'm sorry that you aren't comfortable with yourself and the way you look."
For someone to tell me that I am too "cute" for natural hair is for them to tell me that they are insecure themselves. I realized that the reason that I was relaxing my hair was because I was ashamed of what my hair looked like. I was ashamed to have nappy hair. I was ashamed to show my roots, physically and ethnically. But once I let go of the chemicals, I began to let go of my own hangups about my hair. They really weren't my own. All I know is that when I was younger, I was made fun of and rejected because I was different. I went to primarily white schools, and I was an outcast. I wasn't quite white and I wasn't quite black. My hair wasn't straight, and it had grease in it. Once my white classmates figured out that my hair was always oily and wasn't washed everyday, they assumed that I had lice or cooties or whatever. This was one of many walls that was put up between myself and them. But I'll get into that another day. The point I'm trying to make is, at an early age, I began to hate my hair. I hated the way it smelled from the lack of washings, hated how much it hurt to just brush and comb it, hated how it stood straight up instead of "cas-ca-da-dading" down my back (Whoopi Goldberg, Spook Show, "The Little Girl with Blonde Hair"). This woman probably hated her hair when she started relaxing, just like I did. I can imagine that there was pressure from her family and community to straighten her hair. And, given that she is much older than I am, it is probably impossible for her to imagine a life without straight hair.
But what does it mean to be "too cute" for natural hair? Are only dark-skinned, unattractive people supposed to wear their hair naturally? Am I supposed to have more African characteristics before I can stop damaging my hair? (I am not at all insinuating that Africans are unattractive.) Um. No. I think it is perfectly possible to be beautiful and have natural hair. As a matter of fact, I haven't ever felt more beautiful in my life. With no more scalp scabs, burnt hairlines, dandruff, split ends, and growing hair, I'd say I'm on top of my game.
What she said hurt me, yes. But now I realized that it is she who is really hurting inside.
Thanks for reading my blog.
This blog details my experiences, maintenance, and general thoughts on natural African American hair.
I haven't used any chemicals on my hair since April 2006. I relaxed, straightened through the use of chemicals, my hair from 2000-2006. I made this decision because I didn't see any sense in damaging my hair to hold up ideas that I didn't really agree with.
After my last relaxer, I endured serious chemical burns throughout my scalp and the back of my neck. This happened with my usual stylist and usual brand of relaxer. My doctor suggested that I had developed an allergy to the ingredients used in the treatments. As my scalp healed, I began questioning my reasoning for relaxing my hair in the first place.
I started relaxing my hair as a young teenager. My hair grows very thick and dense, and it was difficult to manage, because I didn't really know how to care for it. My grandmother, who raised me, believed in rough combing and tons of hair grease. This left my hair with split ends and various lengths. She really didn't have the patience to nurture my hair, and she was used to doing it the way her hair was done when she was a child. Once I got old enough to make my own decisions about my appearance, the first thing I did was turn to the "creamy crack" better known as relaxers.
The main ingredient in relaxers is sodium hydroxide, or some other variant of this compund. Sodium hydroxide is also a main ingredient in drain cleaner. To explain this briefly, the ingredients in relaxers break the bonds in African American hair that give it its curly texture. Once the bonds are broken, denatured, they cannot return to their normal state. During the process of breaking these bonds, the hair shaft is weakened, damaged.
But like Kanye said, "You couldn't tell me nuthin',". I was determined to have straight hair. Isn't that what Black girls were supposed to have to be pretty and grown-up? My, how my thinking has changed! If I didn't straighten my hair (or like my friends would say, "do somethin' with that sh!t"), I really believed that I would be inferior to my peers. I wanted to be the stereotypical light-skinned chick with flowing hair, because that what really made a girl beautiful, right? I couldn't have been more wrong...
After that first relaxer, my hair was long, straight, and pretty. I spent a lot of time in the mirror, admiring my tresses. I never missed my natural texture, and, yes, it was much easier to do. Over the next few years, I learned how to put in a relaxer myself every six weeks to hide that dreaded new growth (eek!). I would get an occasional sore on my scalp, and I scolded myself for scratching or brushing my hair before putting in the relaxer. I would never blame the chemicals. Actually, I never thought about the damage I was doing to my hair. But it soon became so evident that I could no longer ignore it.
In the last year before I stopped relaxing, my hair was in bad shape. I could never get my hair to grow beyond my shoulders. After brushing or combing my hair everyday, my bathroom sink and floor would be COVERED with hair. Not strands that came from the root, but short segments that left behind split ends. I rarely washed my hair, to keep it from getting all frizzy and "unmanageable". I found myself using a curling or flat iron every day. I was literally frying my hair into submission.
I was concerned with the state of my hair, so I went back to the way my granny would do my hair. I would grease my hair and scalp with petroleum or mineral oil based products, thinking that the artifical shine it gave promoted health. Instead it made my scalp very dirty and dried my hair. I failed to realize that those particular oils are just as good at keeping moisture out as they were at keeping it in.
Fast forward to my last relaxer. Enough was enough. I didn't know where to begin, but I knew it started with saying goodbye to chemicals for good.
Here I'll record others' reactions to my decision, the process of learning to to care for my hair all over again, thoughts, and memories.
Thank you for reading my blog.
The Trotter is bright (:Þ)
Posts
All Comments
